“Clarity comes through engagement not thought.” -Marie Forleo
That statement could not be any more accurate to me in this moment!
The process of expanding my Myofascial Release practice from an in-home setting into a Yurt has followed that principle through and through!
I am a rookie in the world of construction. And I have been humbled by such an involved process. As the actual building phase has gotten under way this week, I am able to see more clearly the reason behind all of the time and due diligence that has been needed these last several months…. years!
One of my ‘things’ to work on in this lifetime is money. Everybody has a money story in their life, it’s kind of just the way it is, right? For some it’s a bigger issue to contend with than others; and for me, this time around, my relationship with money has taken a lot of awareness, reframing and healing.
And so, as luck should have it, this Yurt project has given me many a chance to look into my beliefs around money, yet again…. Inside out, upside down and backwards.
At every step and turn in a construction project, there is a price tag. Where every single price tag is a potential deal breaker. And every potential deal breaker holds a chance and a choice to really look into the eyes of a dream and decide to fully commit or walk away.
The very nature of collecting information by talking with contractors, raised my level of commitment. It was through this process of meeting with contractors and gathering information, I was really working the vision. And although the ‘practical‘ side of this was to get clear on how much it was all going to cost, there was a very subtle mind game happening. In my mind, the Yurt was becoming reality looooooong before I knew the financials. It’s like I was being asked to commit to the vision, NOT the price tag.
There is a subtle, yet very palpable difference. Committing to the Vision…. not the price tag.
Good chance I would have talked myself out of, or not even fully explored this dream had I seen the price tag early on. Knowing myself and my beliefs around money, IF I HAD KNOWN and heavily weighted this project based on its cost, I am certain I would have somehow, on some conscious or unconscious level, have not been able to commit to the vision. Self sabotage, anyone??
The Universe must hold several degrees in Psychology, because the way this process has unfolded, it sure got under all of the stories and BS I carry when it comes to money. Which allowed me to see this expansion project for what it truly is. It enabled me to work the dream in the dark, so to speak. It let me play in my imagination deep enough to create this new reality. And again, if at the beginning stages of this creation, I had been privy to the cost associated, I would have been unable to fully dream, play, imagine, manifest and commit.
I’m going to see if I can articulate this….
Working this project based on or rooted in logistics and financials, is working it through THOUGHT. A very linear approach. Simply putting pieces together.
Working the vision is engaging the dream. ‘Seeing’ the yurt on my property. Hearing the music that will come from that structure. Hosting groups of people for reasons based in community and healing. Offering this expansion to the Greater Good. Being curious about who will be attracted to this unique structure. Having the chance to create Sacred Space.
My outdated, no-longer-serves-me beliefs around money would have definitely trumped all of these well intended visions. Because those faulty, self sabotaging beliefs have been known to be THAT STRONG. They would have crept in with fear and doubt; creating negative self talk that destroys even the best dreams.
Thankfully, by the time I did get to the place of being privy to see the price tag, I had committed enough. There was no turing back. This was not about the money. It is much bigger than that. And although, at that point, I was ALL IN, that commitment was laced with panic, tears, frustration, angst, worry and a total liberating, exhilarating, going-for-it sense of $UCK IT… I’m doing it anyway!!!
The clarity of the vision, the accuracy of the cost, the reality of construction according to town code, the legal piece, the insurance coverage… the entirety of the project, that began as a vision, ebbs and flows between logistics and dreaming. Every single step requires action, follow through and engagement. Each action step taken drives home the level of commitment.
I have been blessed to have some amazing people on my ‘team’. To help me work the angles, see things differently, trust, accept help, ask questions, get clear, understand the process. The extreme generosity of time, support and patience I have received has been humbling.
With my palms together, at heart center, I bow deeply…. in gratitude.